Understand Emotional Barriers to Make Them Work and Be More Productive
If you have found yourself trapped in overthinking and putting off tasks, you have probably tried to use for productivity tools already. But have you used them and overcome your inertia? If not, you are not alone.
The truth is, it is not the knowing that blocks our action, it is the underlying emotions—fear, anxiety, self-blame—that drain our energy and paralyze our ability to act.
Let's drill down and explore how these emotions come to us and how we can break free from these barriers and hop into action.
1. We Allow Perceived Fear Crash Our Motivation
Productivity Tips We Often Get
Many tools are recommended to overcome the hesitation before starting a task, for example, the five-second rule is a popular one and it seems simple: the next time you think about doing something, just count down 5-4-3-2-1 and act immediately. If the goal is big, such as starting a new business, the advices are usually to make the goal more realistic, get a clear roadmap, etc.
Why They Might Not Work
Despite the seemingly clear action steps, we can still find excuses to not try these. This is because we are trapped in perceived fear.
When we have a real outcome, for example, a rejection, we may feel emotions such as sadness and angry, but our brain knows that it is over. So this emotional reaction gradually goes back to our baseline. Then we move on. But even if we just imagine “What if I get rejected”, we still experience the emotions, because our brain does not distinguish between real from imaginary scenarios. This mechanism helps us survive: When someone shouts “Fire” we want to run immediately, rather than waiting to see the fire with our eyes and smell the smoke with our noses. But the down side is, each time we think about the possible failure scenario, our brain treats it as real failure and adds a bit more emotional stress, which eats up our motivation.
This traps us in a vicious cycle, and makes overcoming "what ifs" even harder.
How To Take Our Power Back
Since we're already dealing with the consequences of hypothetical failures, why not take action and face real outcomes?
People with a strong bias for action love ambitious goals, which challenge them to accomplish more. For instance, Dan Sullivan’s book "10x Is Easier Than 2x" argues for setting ambitious goals, which focuses your energy on strategies over tactics, and eliminates meaningless noise. So it doesn’t matter if your goal is big or small; if you have a tendency to act quickly, you’ve learned to direct your energy towards doing things rather than imagining possible failure scenarios.
Now, many people would still try to justify why they don’t want to start, which brings us to the next point.
2. We Rationalize Inaction to Hide Our Fear
Productivity Tips We Often Get
This exercise is to help you dig deeper and break down the excuses. Write down the task you're avoiding and list the rationalizations you're using to justify the inaction. Then, question each of them by asking, "Is this truly the case, or am I avoiding discomfort?” Next, challenge each of them. Identify a similar experience from your past that disproves the rationalization, or reframe your thought to commit to the opportunity to experience the discomfort and grow. Lastly, find a small action step that you can start today.
Why They Might Not Work
We are good at packaging inaction as a proactive choice. We can use very vague reasons such as "I just don't feel like it," "I'll do it when I'm more inspired," or "Now is not the right time," to avoid digging into the real why. Or, to avoid preparing for the task, we suddenly find the urge to read a white paper that we downloaded last week or clean up our rooms.
Face it. These vague reasons are ways to avoid tough self-examination. This is a common defense mechanism. I’m guilty of that too. But when I revisit moments of procrastination, I also realize that I was avoiding the fear and anxiety that I did not want to admit.
How To Take Our Power Back
Growth usually requires stepping out of our comfort zone, which rarely comes without fear or anxiety. Realizing that we are using this defense mechanism is already a step forward. True autonomy comes from actively challenging ourselves, not from self-deception. You don't truly control your life by giving up or finding excuses.
Now, besides the advice above, ask yourself another question:
How do you benefit from not doing the task?
Write it down and think hard. You must benefit from it somehow to keep doing it. For example, if you didn’t work on a presentation, and you didn’t deliver it to your expectation, you could tell yourself that it was not you who cannot make it, it was because of the lack of preparation. This may give you the perfect excuse to avoid facing your fear that you are not “smart enough”.
By combining both approaches to reveal how you really feel, you can start to commit to an actionable step.
3. We Blame Ourselves Even When We Succeed
Productivity Tips We Often Get
When we finish a task, the common advice is to acknowledge our success and give ourselves a pat on the back. We are told to say to ourselves: "Well done! I have finally done it! I’m awesome!" This encouragement aims to build our self-esteem and motivate us for future tasks.
Why They Might Not Work
However, many of us fall into the trap of self-blame. Instead of celebrating, we criticize ourselves: "It was such a simple task, how could you delay it for a month?" Why does this hurt your motivation? If every time we step outside of our comfort zone, we receive more guilt instead of acknowledgment and a sense of accomplishment, how can we find the motivation to try again?
The root of this issue often lies deep, instilled by our upbringing or societal messages. In my case, I was not used to getting praises even when I got As at school, 'there are always room for improvement,' my parents and teachers used to say." This distilled into how I view my progress. I just don’t think they are big enough to celebrate. It feels awkward to praise ourselves over “small progresses”, so we don’t do it. But this negative self-talk overlooks our effort and takes away the joy of challenging ourselves and succeeding.
How To Take Our Power Back
We need to acknowledge that even if a task seems small, the fact that it blocks us shows that we are stepping outside of our comfort zone. The “small wins” are not so small; they mark our commitment towards our goal, despite the fear we have.
Think of self-appreciation as a skill you need to learn to build your future success. Next time when you finish something that you’ve been procrastinating, instead of thinking “Anyone could have done it,” tell yourself: “This task is a challenge for me, but I faced it with courage, and I succeeded. I'm proud of myself.” Celebrate your wins by treating yourself to something you enjoy, or simply taking a moment to enjoy this relaxed moment before moving on to the next task.
If you have kids, think about them. Do you think they are wonderful and deserve all the good things in the world? Tell yourself that you do too. And Believe it. You are wonderful.
Final Thoughts: You Can Totally Control and Grow Your Mindset
By now, it is clear how our emotions block us from “don’t overthink it and just do it”. That's why the productivity tips often lose their power.
We often think that we have a growth mindset because we are dedicated to learn new skills. That’s true, but it’s only half true. If we don’t learn how to update our mindset and update the ways we deal with our feelings, or if we believe that they cannot be changed, then we have a fixed mindset on this aspect.
Gaining a new mindset is like training our muscles. Just as we go to the gym and focus on feeling how the muscles contrast and relax IN THAT MOMENT, we can start to focus on the present steps that get the task done, and learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable feelings over time. And when you experience how it really feel with the real outcomes, you can expand your comfort zone a little more, then a little more. Be consistent and our “mental muscle” will build up, which will prepare us to become a person with a bias for action.
Is there a small task you've been wanting to tackle? Go do it, and then give yourself the credit you deserve. You're awesome!
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